New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
