I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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