well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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