Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
