I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
