we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize