we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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