Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
