He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
