So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
