Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
