Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i think im in europe. pls send help
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
