3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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