He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
