weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
