I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
