We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize