Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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