your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
