can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
