WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize