you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
