I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
