I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
