ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm at about main and main street
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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