I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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