:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
