He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
