The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
