i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
