dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
