so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
