There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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