I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She announced her abortion via fbk
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
