that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
