Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize