Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize