my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
