He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
