I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
