I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
