Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
