so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
