That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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