Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
