The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
