Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize