it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
