Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize