i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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