Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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