i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
