I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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