I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
