just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
