Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
