there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
