Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
