I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize