so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Randomize
