census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize