His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
