yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
