So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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