hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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