no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
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