I saw his package. It spoke to me.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
