Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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