Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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