I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
