So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
