franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
