you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize