were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
