remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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